Real Estate Envy: Ferris Bueller House for Sale

Well, not actually Ferris's house, but the house where his best friend, Cameron, lived in that cinematic opus, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. (C'mon -- you know you saw it, like, six times.)

The house -- all cold, sleek glass, steel, and hard edges -- was meant to symbolize poor, chronically depressed Cameron's lonely, loveless family life (as opposed to Ferris's own cluttered, cozy, love-filled traditional abode).

But looking at these photos of the 5,300-square-foot Highland Park, Illinois home -- which just went up for sale -- today, I don't find it cold at all. There's a lot more warm wood than I remember from the movie, and being nestled amidst the trees like that? Dreamy.

Anyway, the house is currently listed with Sotheby's International Realty at the bargain price of just $2.3 million.

So, who's gonna grab it? Bueller? ... Bueller? ... Anyone?

Things I Hella Love About Oakland: The Parkway Speakeasy Theater

Update: I'm reposting this entry from last year in response to the sad news this morning that Oakland's Parkway Speakeasy is going dark as of Sunday, March 22. This is my ode to the beloved "picture pub pizza" joint. Goodbye, Parkway -- you will be dearly missed.

How do I love the Parkway? Let me count the ways ...

Aside from my own bed and London's bustling Portobello Road Market early on a Saturday morning, this second-run theater-cum-art-movie house near Oakland's Lake Merritt is pretty much my favorite spot on the planet.

It's not in a fancy neighborhood by any stretch. The theater itself, a faded 1920 movie palace that has a vaguely Phoenician theme and that's been restored on the cheap, isn't particularly plush. Truth be told, it's on the funky side -- but that's part of the charm. There's just something sort of magical about the place, which has dubbed itself "the anti-multiplex."

Instead of typical theater seats, the Parkway sports couches and easy chairs. Tickets are $6 ($4 for matinees), and Wednesdays are two-for-one. Can't beat that.

The theater's tag line is "Picture, Pub, and Pizza" because in addition two two large and comfy screening spaces, there's a restaurant counter with a selection of locally brewed suds on tap, decent wines by the glass, and tasty, made-to-order salads, sandwiches, and pizzas. (It doesn't hurt that Parkway co-owner Catherine Fischer is a graduate of the California Culinary Academy.)

You buy your ticket, place your food and drinks order, grab a couch and wait for dinner to be delivered, then happily munch your way through the flick while working on that pitcher of Sierra Nevada.

Lots of hip, young, cash-strapped creative types frequent the place, and because of the couch setup and cheap eats, groups of friends tend to meet up there, which gives the Parkway a convivial, neighborhood-hangout vibe. The place is so totally chill, I could happily curl up and take a nap on one of the couches -- and almost have on many occasions.

There are no commercials or previews before the movies start. Instead, co-owner Kyle Fischer and program director Will Viharo appear onscreen for an ad-libbed and humorous monthly update. (That's them, above. The sign behind them says something along the lines of "Keep America Fat: Watch More Movies.")

The programming ranges from popcorn-fare-with-an-edge -- like Grindhouse, Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino's ode to Seventies exploitation cinema -- to more serious art-house selections, such as Todd Haynes' I'm Not There. (You can find the complete monthly schedule here.)

The Parkway also hosts special screenings and other events, like free documentary showings, Superbowl and Oscar bashes, Afrocentric cinema, and the Thrillville cult-movie cabaret, including the upcoming "Geeky Greek Gay Go-Go Show" featuring Jason and the Argonauts. And, of course, The Rocky Horror Picture Show unspools at midnight every Saturday.

But it almost doesn't matter what the Parkways is playing. Given pretty much any excuse at all -- like our monthly "date night"/childcare swap with friends, which is (yay!) tomorrow -- we are so there. (Walk Hard at 7; come on down and say hi if you're in the neighborhood.)

The only thing that could make this place any more awesome would be a rational all-ages policy. Aside from the Monday night "Baby Brigade" -- where new parents can bring babes-in-arms to grown-up movies -- the Parkway is normally 21 and over. The exceptions are Saturday matinees and all day Sundays, when kids are supposedly welcome.

That's great -- the problem is, the management almost always endeavors to screen R-rated movies on those days. (Hmmm -- should we take the kids to see a tragically dysfunctional family kill each other in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, or a hopeless and violently dystopian future in Blade Runner: The Final Cut this weekend?)

They also have the irksome tendency to slot the occasional kids' movie on 21-and-over days. I've seen parents with wee ones in tow turned away from showings of weekday Pixar flicks at the Parkway. Mom and Dad are understandably angered, and their tots are understandably reduced to tears.

So, Parkway powers-that-be, please get a clue and stop toying with us poor parents: Either schedule one family-friendly film on all-ages days, don't put animated kids' movies on the program on adults-only days, or just drop the all-ages charade and be 21-and-over all the time.

Still, despite this sort of stupid and pointless policy, my love for the Parkway remains undiminished.

Actually, the only two things that could make the place any more awesome are a sane all-ages schedule and regular "shout-back screenings" of Napoleon Dynamite. ("But my lips hurt real BAD!")

Whadya say, guys?

Mark Your Calendar: Handmade Nation Screening in San Francisco

Making its San Francisco debut tomorrow night, Wednesday, March 11, as part of the San Francisco Film Society SF360 Film + Club: Faythe Levine's long-gestating, labor-of-love documentary, Handmade Nation: The Rise of DIY Art, Craft & Design.

"Buying local for many means buying handmade objects that are designed and fabricated with ingenuity, grit, and love. Handmade Nation documents a movement of artists, crafters, and designers that imbue traditional handiwork techniques with a punky do-it-yourself ethos informed by modern aesthetics, politics, feminism, and art. The film explores the burgeoning art community of indie crafters that is fueled by creativity, determination, and networking. First-time director Faythe Levine traveled the U.S. to capture the tight-knit community, conducting interviews in the studios and homes of noted and independent artists. Levine also details how Web sites, blogs, and online stores have spurred a once underground movement and how crafts have expanded to connect with the greater public through boutiques, galleries, and fairs."

Following the screening will be a panel discussion with Lisa Congdon, co-owner of Rare Device; Derek Fagerstrom, craft and DIY co-editor at design*sponge and co-owner of the Curiosity Shoppe; Natalie Zee Drieu, senior editor at Craft magazine; and Stephanie Syjuco, fine artist and professor.

Several local crafters, artisans, and indie retailers will also be onsite to sell their handmade products, including Dutch Door Press, Diana Fayt, Cara Lyndon, Miss Natalie, Mittenmaker, Nous Savons, Sharon Spain, Woolly Hoodwinks, Zum, the Curiosity Shoppe, Little Otsu, Needles & Pens, and Rare Device.

The events starts at 7:00 Wednesday evening at Mezzanine. Tickets are $8 to $12. Click here for more info.

That's Random: God, I Love This Movie

Give it up for Quang Yi, ladies and gentlemen.

OK -- totally random, I know. But have you seen this movie? I think it's pretty much my favorite film of the last ten years. (And yes, I fully admit to crushing on the beauteous, then-20-year-old Michael Pitt like the pervy, thirtysomething, married-mother-of-two that I am. I mean, hello! Don't worry, though -- I'm over him now.)

Anyway, you should rent it sometime. (But only, you know, if you like kind of weird but totally great, hilarious and yet heartbreaking indie musicals about "internationally ignored" East German transsexual song stylists and the hot young ex-lovers who wronged them, and that came out like seven years ago.) Amazing soundtrack, too.

That's Random: Why I Didn't Like Juno

Nick and I finally caught Juno, and we were truly excited to see it. I have to say, though, that I really didn't like it -- in a strong, well, dislike kind of way. Afterwards, we both jumped online to re-read the reviews and try to figure out why everyone on the planet is falling all over themselves about this movie. (We're still mystified, but for what it's worth we did find one critic who perfectly summed up our conflicted feelings about the film.)

It's not that I didn't get it. I like winsomely quirky indie fare about so-geeky-they're-totally-awesome teens with winsomely quirky indie soundtracks just as much as the next aging wannabe (but-never-really-was) hipster. I mean, Napoleon Dynamite is actually one of my favorite movies ever. But Juno? Stop drinking the Kool-Aid, people.

Don't get me wrong -- I love that a movie written by an ex-stripper about a smart, dorky girl has made over 100 million bucks and has people lining up at the cineplex. I'll grant you that the performances, without fail, were lovely: Ellen Page, as the titular knocked-up 11th grader, was luminous. (She's equally impressive as a barely pubescent avenging angel in the sort of disturbing Hard Candy.) Jason Bateman was perfect as the initially super-cool, ultimately sad and creepy adoptive dad who you don't know if you want to punch or, like, make out with. Jennifer Garner? Surprisingly excellent. J.K. Simmons? Wish I had a dad like that. And I'll watch Michael Cera in anything -- even in those yellow shorts.

But from the self-consciously twee music (much of it by Kimya Dawson of the Moldy Peaches and Antsy Pants -- how's that for precious?) to the equally twee illustrated opener to the absolutely ridiculous dialogue that by all rights would get you flunked out of Screenwriting 101, Juno seriously bugged me. "This is one doodle that can't be un-did, Homeskillet" -- from the guy behind the counter at the drugstore, no less, who of course is played with a generous ladling of irony by Rainn Wilson? Pardon me while I retch -- I think I have an eye-rolling-induced migraine.

To me, Juno is like a cute, smart, funny, talented guy who just tries way too hard to be cool and clever, and winds up being really annoying as a result. (Like, I don't know ... John Mayer.) And for this, the movie gets Best Screenplay, Best Director, and Best Picture Oscar nominations? Please put down the crack pipe, Academy voters.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch My So-Called Life on DVD.

(Thanks to Jim DeRogatis of the Chicago Sun-Times for mentioning this post in one of his own critiques of the movie. Juno-haters of the world unite!)

P.S. Speaking of annoying viewing experiences and dumb award shows, how unbearably ass-y was the Grammys last night? Even knowing that it would, as always, be totally lame -- and recording the broadcast so we could fast-forward through the whole thing in, like, half an hour -- it was painful.

The only performances that didn't have us peeking out from behind our hands in cringing horror were Feist, who seemed to be making an effort to minimize the cheese factor by keeping it stripped down; the Foo Fighters, who are always effortlessly kickass (though I thought the John Paul Jones-conducted orchestra accompanying them was sort of pointless); and Amy Winehouse, who barely seemed to know where she was, but who was sort of glorious in her smacked-out way nonetheless. (How long do you think before she's dead, or at least completely toothless? I'm taking bets over here.)

And wait -- the White Stripes win two awards, and they don't even show them? Just one minute of endearing Jack-and-Meg awkwardness would have gone a long way toward making the rest of that sad snoozefest worth watching, IMHO.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

That's Random: Rent This Movie

The film itself -- about an Irish busker (played by the Frames' frontman Glen Hansard) and a young Czech immigrant (pianist Marketa Irglova) whose love story is told through the music they create together -- is charming. But the achingly beautiful songs by the stars (and real-life lovers) elevates Once to a must-see.

In fact, after seeing the movie I couldn't even wait to hit one of our local music stores. I just downloaded the entire, heartbreaking soundtrack on iTunes and have had it on replay ever since.

Seriously -- put Once in your Netflix queue, and check out some of the music from the movie right here:



P.S. I promise that I'm not on the payroll at Fox Searchlight, Columbia Records, iTunes, or Netflix.

Cool Tool: Shop The Nanny Diaries Set

How's this for shameless product placement: Now you can do more than simply ogle the set decor in a film or TV show (which, admittedly, is sometimes the only thing that makes sitting through a bad one endurable) -- you can actually buy the conveniently cataloged products featured therein.

Say you're at a screening of The Nanny Diaries, and find yourself admiring the goods in Mr. and Mrs. X's posh Upper East Side pad.



Covet the ultra-glam mirrored coffee table ($1,370) in the master bedroom? Feel a pang for the buttoned-up wing chairs ($1,230 to $1,470 apiece) in the living room? Take a liking to the throw pillows ($130 each) on the couch? Long to soak in a glorious pedestal tub ($4,300) like Mrs. X does?

You're in luck. Thanks to SeenON! you can tour the movie's sets, get info on the furnishings and accessories used to create the moneyed abode where much of the action takes place, and click through to various retailers to purchase what you see. Hell, you can even buy the clothes right off of Scarlett Johansson and Laura Linney's backs.

The Nanny Diaries' aren't the only sets you can shop, either. SeenON! also features decor from Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Top Chef, Will & Grace, and lots of others.

It leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth, at least from a "how much more cynical can Hollywood get?" point of view -- but I have to admit that it's a pretty handy service.

Ogle to your heart's content right here.

(Now, if only someone would sell the set decor used in Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn's gorgeous apartment in The Break-Up ... )